Two Years
by WElle
Summary: A series of messages and emails that lead to the two years Sam and Dean didn't speak.  Preseries.
1. October 1

_Hey Sammy, how's it hangin little brother? It's uh, 11:30, I think. I hope I didn't wake you up. Seriously, I hope you're still up and you know, out somewhere. Not the library. I uh, you know just called to say hi. No reason or anything. Nothing special. Just hi. Just calling to see how you're doing. Probably normal. Just like you wanted. I really hope you got what you wanted. We're fine. Things are fine. Dad's just out. He's still a bit pissed, so I'm calling while he's out is all. Don't worry about it. Well that's it. Hope you're good. Hope you're normal. Ha, hope you're getting laid, hahaha whatever. Anyway, just called to say hi. My number's the same. But don't call, it's okay. I know you're…anyway, bye. _


	2. October 4

Dean,

Got your message.

Everything here's fine. _Normal._ Sounds like everything there is normal too. How much did you have to drink anyway?

I don't know what you want. Or what to say. Or why you called. You made it pretty clear whose side you were on when I left. So unless that's changed I'm going to assume you're not that interested in what's going on here and whether or not I'm getting laid.

I have class in half an hour, gotta go.

Sam

I'm not gonna call, Dean, but I'll email. I don't want to hear him and I don't want him to give you a hard time.


	3. October 10

_Hey, it's me. Sorry about the drunk dial. I uh, I …never mind. Listen…shit…never mind. Just so you know there were never any sides. As for you getting laid, what can I say. Hope springs eternal. Take it easy, Sammy. I hope class is good. Call sometime, I promise, it won't kill you._


	4. October 12

Dean,

It's Sam.

Don't play like suddenly you think this was some giant misunderstanding. OK? Not you. You were there. He THREW ME OUT.

Stop talking about my sex life, you giant perv.

Sam


	5. October 15

_Sammy, he didn't throw you out. Well, yeah, technically he did, but it's not what he meant. You just took us by surprise, dude. You could have warned us, let him warm up to it, you know? I could have worked on him. But you didn't even tell me, so don't start acting like Oliver Twist. You still got a family. We still love you. Speaking of which, I know it's only October, but you're a giant geek and I'm sure you don't have plans of a totally non-pervy nature, so maybe Thanksgiving, I can, you know, swing by, we can hang out. I gotta go, think about it._


	6. October 19

_Sammy, Sam, I get that you're pissed, but come on. Look, I'm going to be around next week, well not around around, but I can swing by. We can grab a cheeseburger, if they even have them in California. Don't worry, Dad won't be with me. Anyway, let me know if you're around._


	7. October 21

_Hey, it's me. Dean. The handsome one, in case you forgot. Ha. I guess you must be pretty busy, so never mind about the cheeseburger. Just, uh, just let me know if you're OK Sammy. Sam… sorry. Bye, I guess._


	8. October 28

Dean,

I'm not ignoring you. How could I? All I hear is your voice every time I so much as look at my phone. I just don't know what to say anymore.

I'm fine. I'M HAPPY HERE. I LIKE MY LIFE. It's a bit lonely and a bit scary and I miss you, but I'm making friends. I'm sleeping through the night. I'll probably always salt the windows and doors, but I don't get up to check 'just in case' anymore.

I can't talk about this anymore. Nothing I say is going to make you understand and I don't even pretend that there is a chance Dad will get it or stop hating me for it. I can't do this. And I can't make nice and pretend there's not some huge elephant in the room, over the phone, on email every time we connect. If you can't get that, if you can't just be happy for me or proud of me, I can't do this anymore.

I don't think Thanksgiving is such a good idea. Anyway, I've got a couple of invitations.

Stay safe, Dean.

Sam


	9. November 2

_Sammy, what the hell do you mean anymore? We've barely talked about it at all! One monster fight with Dad and couple of emails and you're tired? Jesus, Sammy, I sound like you... I don't want to fight and I'm not calling to make you talk about anything. It's just that it's the 2nd and I uh, I...it just doesn't feel right not to talk to you today. Just never mind. This doesn't count as talking about it. I just called to say I'm glad you're sleeping, I'm glad you're happy, I AM happy for you. But we're not the only ones that don't understand. No I don't get it, but it doesn't matter, you're still my brother. We're not against you. Maybe you'll wrap your head around it sometime, maybe it'll be in one of your goddam books, maybe not, but… I…fuck, Sam, you know what? Never mind. I can't do this anymore either. Just, salt the fucking windows no matter what? OK? Sorry about Thanksgiving… Goodbye, Sammy. _


End file.
